Healing

  Healing

  By Belinda Kennington

  Copyright 2016 Belinda Kennington

  Cover Designed by Victorine Lieske

  Table of Contents

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Nineteen

  Twenty

  Twenty-One

  Twenty-Two

  Twenty-Three

  Twenty-Four

  Twenty-Five

  Twenty-Six

  Twenty-Seven

  Twenty-Eight

  Twenty-Nine

  Thirty

  Thirty-One

  Thirty-Two

  Thirty-Three

  Dedication

  To my husband, for putting up with my crazy ideas and my many hours at the computer.

  To my mom and sister, thank you for being there to answer all my many questions.

  And to all my incredible co-workers and friends, thank you for reading my story many times over.

  One

  Another anniversary had fast approached. I should call in sick tomorrow. Allison Behr glanced at the clock, less than half an hour till five. She closed her eyes and leaned back. Almost done. All she wanted was to climb into bed and sleep the next day away.

  Bob Wilson, her boss, stepped out of his office and headed her way with a stack of files. Rumor around the office, was he was having an affair. How could someone step out on a loving wife? What kind of man did she work for? She thought she knew. His large belly bounced with his efforts to waddle to her desk. Furrowed brows made his forehead look even bigger in combination with his receding hairline.

  Ducking her head, she hoped if she didn’t make eye contact, he’d pass by her. Lately, he’d doubled her workload. Her job was to finalize expenses for payment after an event ended. But a few months back, Bob dropped a few files on her desk, budget proposals to proof. He said to get them done then walked away. She’d stared at the papers on her desk not sure what to do with them.

  After a while, she’d gone to his office to ask what she needed to do, and found he’d left for the day. She was on her own. Doing the only thing she could think of, she checked the spelling and math. It seemed to appease Bob and he continued to pile the work on her desk. No one else got extra work. His aggression seemed to be aimed at her, at least that’s how it felt. They’d never been friends but used to have a good professional relationship.

  No eye contact didn’t do the trick. Allison turned in her chair so her back was to Bob as he entered her cubicle. Couldn’t he let me be just one day? His aftershave invaded her space and she knew he’d stopped right next to her. He cleared his throat loudly. It disgusted her she had to interact with him. Allison prepared herself. Smile and be polite. She swung her chair around and smiled at him as sweetly as she could.

  Bob dropped the papers on her desk causing a thump. “Get these budgets done, a.s.a.p.”

  “I’ll get them started first thing tomorrow.”

  With an exaggerated sigh, Bob looked at his watch. “Fine. First thing tomorrow.” He turned and left without a glance or nod of appreciation.

  Curious, she flipped open the top file. It was a budget for a concert coming up next week. Allison sighed and put her head in her hands. Not sure how long she’d be able to put up with the treatment, she hoped something would change soon.

  Allison’s best friend since college, approached her desk. “Hey, Emily.” They both worked at the Civic Center in Lincoln, Nebraska. When Allison needed to go back to work, Emily was able to get her into the financial department. Allison had a business degree, but since she didn’t have much work experience she’d found it difficult to get back into the work force. Emily pulled some strings and got her hired. It was an entry level position that dealt with paperwork, all behind the scenes. Allison loved it.

  Emily coordinated events, planned and organized concerts, plays, or any other event the center was able to bring to the city. It fit her perfectly. She was outgoing and loved people and they loved her back. Allison envied her, being able to put herself out for the world to see.

  “Thank heavens it’s almost time to go home.”

  “Bob on your case again?” Emily rested her arms on the edge of the cubicle, staring at her with her big blue eyes. Some of her shoulder-length blonde hair fell in her face and she tucked it behind an ear.

  “Yeah, I’d like to know who peed in his cheerios.” Allison piled her long hair onto her head and leaned back in the chair. “I don’t know what his problem is lately.”

  “Let’s go dancing.” Emily said.

  Grace, Allison’s cubical neighbor and friend, popped her head over the wall. “I’m up for it.” She was half Native American and beautiful. Long black hair, brown eyes and the perfect all-year tan. Grace worked in the accounts receivable department, creating invoices to be sent out and then made sure the bill got paid. Allison was glad she didn’t have that job.

  Emily stood straight and her eyes widen. “Does that mean we’re finally going to meet your boyfriend?” Emily and Allison hadn’t meet her mystery man. A month ago, Grace announced she was dating and since came up with excuses not to introduce them.

  Grace was mid-thirties and never been married. “I don’t know. He’s really busy but I’ll ask.”

  Allison smirked and slowly shook her head. She let Grace be, but Emily felt it was her duty to find her a soul mate.

  “Sorry ladies. We have to work tomorrow and I need to get home to my kids.” Allison stood releasing the hold on her hair and it cascaded down her back. She grabbed a pile of papers and stepped over to the filing cabinet against the far wall to put them away.

  Emily moved around the short wall, staying on Allison’s heels. “Your kids are old enough to take care of themselves. We won’t stay out too long. Wayne and I will swing by after dinner to pick you up.” She turned around to Grace. “Do you need a ride?”

  “No, I can meet you there. This will be fun.”

  Allison shook her head at her best friend. Why wouldn’t Emily let it go? “You two go without me. Have fun.” She opened the drawer in the cabinet, filing the work she had done for the day. To get home was all she wanted. That’s where she needed to be.

  “Come on, girl. Let’s shake our booties. You’re always cooped up in your house.”

  Allison drew in a deep breath as she closed the drawer. Turning to face her friend, she had to stand her ground. “Emily, no. I’m going home.”

  “Allison, you need to get out again. There’s more to life than work and home.”

  “I’ve got my kids.” She wasn’t meant to have fun anymore. Emily knew what tomorrow was.

  “Allison, stop hiding. Rick’s the one that died, not you.”

  Allison’s jaw dropped. Really? The knife that resided in her heart, twisted, causing a fresh wave of pain to crash over her. The pain she’d worked so hard to hide, now displayed for everyone to see.

  Through blurry vision, Allison glanced at Grace. Their co-worker stood to the side, her eyes wide, not moving a muscle. Allison turned away from the pity written all over her face.

  Emily raised a hand over her mouth and reached out to her. “Allison, I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t.” Allison pulled back and slapped Emily’s hand away. Harsh memories of what happened two years ago, flooded her mind. She locked her computer, then grabbed her purse out of the bottom drawer. “How could you?” Without looking back at Emily or Grace, she hurried ou
t of the building. There were still a couple of minutes till the end of the day, but she didn’t care. She had to get out of there before she completely fell apart.

  Concentrating on the click of her heels hitting the cement, she hurried to her car. One, two, three… Step over the crack. Using the childhood habit, she counted her steps as she ran away. If she could distract herself enough maybe the tears wouldn’t come.

  Her efforts failed as a track of moisture ran down her cheek. It’s too much. She wiped the liquid away, then reached for the handle of her vehicle. Climbing in, she squeezed the steering wheel tight then slammed her palm against it. How could she! With the top of her shirt, she wiped her eyes then started the car, pulling out of the parking spot.

  After blinking several times, Allison pulled over to the side of the road. Throwing the shifter into park she roughly wiped away the tears. Resting her head on the steering wheel, she breathed deeply. What was Emily thinking? She knew not to talk about Rick. It had been an unspoken rule.

  Allison still remembered the day her world fell apart, like it was yesterday…

  Two

  “Liz, Stephen. Come on, you’re going to be late for school.” Allison yelled down the hall to her kids. She pulled on her tennis shoes and dragged a brush through her hair, pulling it into a ponytail as she ran out of her room. She mentally went through her to do list for the day. First, drop kids off, then grocery shopping. She put her hand in her pocket. List, check. Stop at the post office, get the house clean and laundry done, then a PTA meeting tonight.

  Stephen, her youngest, was already in the entryway when Allison got there. At thirteen, he was only half a foot shorter than her. She knew he’d outgrow her in no time. Just like his father, he’d be tall. Stephen threw his backpack over his shoulder and leaned against the wall.

  Liz, the oldest, rushed in and stopped in front of the mirror checking her makeup and hair. Almost sixteen, she was obsessed, making sure she always looked just right. Allison looked at Liz’s reflection. It still amazed her at how much she looked like her father. The hazel eyes were an exact copy. When Liz was happy with what she saw she grabbed her things.

  “It will be nice when you get your license. Then you can drive yourself and Stephen to school.”

  “I can’t wait.” Liz had been making plans for her birthday for months now. All of her friends were invited for a big sweet sixteen bash.

  Allison was preparing herself for loud music and lots of snacks. “Everyone ready?” Allison flung the door open as two men stepped onto the porch.

  One was a tall police officer who looked like he mostly sat behind a desk. The other, had her doing a double take. A man of the cloth. He was of average height with black hair and a kind smile.

  What’s this be about? Allison looked at her kids behind her. Both their eyes went wide and hands went up. She couldn’t help but smile, they looked like they had surrendered.

  “Mrs. Allison Behr?” The officer spoke.

  “Yes?”

  “Hi, I’m Officer Steed and this is Father Callin.”

  “Hi, what can I do for you?”

  “May we come in?”

  Allison stared at them for a moment. “We’re in a hurry. Will this take long?”

  “This is important.”

  “Okay.” She stepped to the side and motioned them in, letting them enter. Her stomach flipped.

  Father Callin addressed her kids. “Hello.” They looked at him and quietly said hi back. “How about we all have a seat?”

  The officer and father took a seat in the nearest couch. She and her kids sat opposite them. She couldn’t help wonder why she’d get a visit this early in the morning. It wasn’t for a religious reason. A cop wouldn’t be here for that. Had there been a major crime in the area? She hoped not. They lived in such a friendly neighborhood.

  Officer Steed took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together. “I’m sorry to inform you, but there’s been an accident.”

  Accident! Did one of the neighbors get hurt? Did that warrant a visit to them?

  “Your husband, Rick Behr, was involved in a head-on collision.”

  “No.” Not Rick. She heard Liz gasp next to her.

  “He died at the scene. I am sorry.”

  “No, he wasn’t.” My kids didn’t lost their father. “He’s at work.” All eyes were on her as she stood and went for the phone hanging on the wall next to her desk. “He left an hour ago. I’ll prove it. He’s at work.”

  “Ma’am.” Officer Steed moved to stand, but Father Callin put his hand on his arm.

  Allison turned away from the audience and dialed Rick’s work number. Her fingers shook and messed up the number. The second try she got it right. With the first ring she looked at the men sitting in her living room. They have the wrong person.

  After two rings her call was answered. “Good morning. Duncan Aviation, this is Steph. How can I help you?”

  “Hello Steph, this is Allison Behr. I need to speak with Rick. It’s important.”

  “One moment.” A soft click, then Allison heard classical music. Allison again peered over her shoulder. The two messengers sat calm and patient as her kids fidgeted. At least they looked somber. A few seconds later Steph’s voice returned. “I’m sorry, there’s no answer.”

  “I don’t mean to be a bother, but could you page him?”

  “Sure.”

  Allison moved the phone to the other hand and wiped her palm on her pant leg. Her heart pounded in her ears. Grasping the counter she leaned over. Her stomach rolled and a wave of nausea hit her. Her body broke out in a cold sweat. This isn’t happening.

  “I’m sorry ma’am. There’s no answer to the page so I called his department. No one has seen him this morning.”

  “This can’t be happening.” Rick, don’t leave me.

  “Mrs. Behr? Ma’am? Are you still there?”

  Allison couldn’t answer her. Another wave of nausea hit her and the room tilted. She struggled moving her hair off her neck. Everything was hot and sweaty.

  A hand touched her shoulder and Father Callin gently took the phone. She saw his mouth move and heard the words coming out of his mouth. “I’m sorry. Mrs. Behr was just informed her husband was in an accident and passed away.” The words wouldn’t fit. Nothing made sense.

  She turned to her kids. They were both standing. Liz had her hands up to her mouth and tears shone in her eyes. Stephen stood next to her shaking his head back and forth slowly. She stepped up to them and put her arms around them as her own tears started to flow.

  Stephen threw her arm off and ran to his room. “Stephen.” She yelled after him but couldn’t follow. Liz broke down as she wrapped her arms around Allison.

  The father hung the phone back on its hook and made his way back over to them. Allison sat Liz on the couch then faced Officer Steed. “This has to be a mistake. I have to see him.”

  “Ma’am, his wallet was recovered at the scene.” The officer said matter-of-factly.

  “Doesn’t matter. It’s a mistake.” Allison straightened her back and took a step towards the door. “This can’t happen to my family.” Her legs gave out and she collapsed to her knees. With one hand, she supported herself before she hit the hard floor. Struggling to breath, she pulled at her shirt. There’s no way her husband could be gone. She had kissed him only a short time ago.

  “Mom.” Liz put her arms around her.

  Father Callin kneeled in front of them. “Is there someone I can call for you?”

  “Emily.” Allison barely got the name out. Her best friend would come.

  Allison leaned over resting her forehead on the cool floor. Liz sat beside her, softly crying. Her body quivered with each sob. Allison pushed herself up and wrapped her arms around her daughter. How could this have happened? Why him? She looked around the room for Stephen. He must have stayed in his room. She needed to check on him, but her body wouldn’t move.

  Eventually, Emily and her husband Wayne arrived. Father Callin greeted
them. She heard their conversation but still couldn’t get the words to make sense. She watched her friend’s face. Her sweet, pretty face changed to a deep frown and her hand went up to her mouth. Emily scanned the room and when she spotted Allison on the floor, she rushed over and kneeled in front of her. Allison opened her arms ready for someone to hold her. Emily smoothed her hair down. “Honey, I’m soooo sorry.”

  She looked up at her best friend, “Rick… Accident… I have to see him.”

  “I’ll drive you. Wayne will stay with the kids.” Emily helped her stand.

  Allison nodded and looked around the room.

  “Officer Steed left. Father Callin will show us to the hospital.” Emily smoothed the hair out of Allison’s face. “You’ll be okay. We’ll get you through this.”

  “We’re here.” Emily pulled into the hospital parking lot right behind Father Callin and parked next to him.

  Emily and Allison walked arm in arm into the hospital. The doors swished as they slid open and they stepped in. People cluttered the lobby, staff and visitors. Some looked happy carrying balloons and gifts. Others sat alone along the wall, faces red and puffy. A new wave of emotion hit her and she fought back the onslaught. She had to get through this.

  “Ok?” Emily rubbed Allison’s arm with her free hand.

  Allison nodded but didn’t speak, afraid it would be her undoing. They made their way to the elevator. Father Callin pushed ‘B’ for the basement. Going down. Down is bad.

  After a couple of queasy seconds the elevator stopped with a jolt. Allison put her hand on her already unsettled belly. They all stepped off and headed down a long empty hall. Allison spotted a rectangle sign on the wall. “Morgue” in bold, with an arrow beneath, pointed ahead. A strangled squeak escaped her throat.

  Emily put her hand on her shoulder and rubbed her back with her other. “Do you need a minute?”

  Father Callin turned around and put his hand on her other shoulder. “You don’t have to do this.”

  Allison shook her head. “I have to.”

  Emily squeezed her hand. “Remember I’m here. You’re not alone.”